Angry Letter:  Letter to BIC MID TERM
                
                 I Love to write so understandably I need an excellent writing utensil to write with.  I enjoy my pencil, my pen, a pad of paper to write on and with those things my writing flows. But as expected sometimes with the highest quality of material(which tends to be much more expense than say a sub par material) i need to buy something cheaper. Your brand was my choice, you are cheaper (when i say cheaper i mean much much cheaper like into the negatives cheaper, like do you actually have to pay people to use your material because i would like a bit of that money.) non the less, its good that you are cheaper, but at what cost.  The plastic feces of material that you use in your pencils makes me cringe.  The plastic when broken leaves horrible pieces that i call BIC splinters or for short Bic-ters. This is because they enter my skin and leave the remains of a few Satan spawns and completely demolish my perfectly pampered skin with the seemingly acid based plastics that is used and distribute to your low paying customers. As i would enjoy plastic filaments ripping my flesh and leaving a fresh trail of blood along my originally written piece of utter artwork(were it a horror this may be good but I'm not huge into horror so probably not a great thing). Another huge "UP" side to your "product" is the graphite that is placed in the horrid devices that you so endearingly call a writing utensil. This graphite is clearly taken straight from the original book of noises nobody enjoys. Its father is undoubtedly the fingernails on a blackboard noise. When the graphite is pressed upon your paper at the right angle out protrudes the noise of a cat being brutally murder by a wood chipper because the noise is the most unbearable sound that has ever "graced" my ears. If i wasn't so angered i would continue to rant but i cant think because the sound of the cat is still resounding from one side of my brain to the other and thus forcing it to block out all other thoughts.  The only thing that i can elaborate on is your pens. As the fact that i don't use pens often stands extremely prevalent here it is the exact reason that i actually use your pens, they are cheap come in large packs and can be found just about everywhere. The ink doesn't like to come out of the pen, so using the pen itself has cause many problems such as writing out a check or writing my signature and a sudden break appears and the continuation of the ink is completely unheard of. This leads me to the fact that these pens have exploded numerous times upon numerous of my shirts, and for the record ink doesn't come out easy. This is all without mentioning that they bend easier than a contortionist. Quiet frankly  everything that i have ever gotten from Bic from pens to pencils to the gosh darn reloading graphite, is and i believe always will be absolute shit.    
                                                                                                      Thank you, Your "BIGGEST" supporter

I added extra content to this essay, unfortunately i did not have the original saved so i cant compare it to anything, elaborated on the previous content added a few more things hopefully making it slightly better, i tried to make it make a little more sense, as it didn't fully make sense in parts before
         

Multiple Narrators FINAL/MIDTERM.    WHAT?

“Huh?” “What’s going on?” “where am I? what is this? how? where? what the? how is this? I’m………..I’m……I’m…………..what?”

“What are you doing?”  “*I work here?!” “**Sir are you OK?” “Wait you work here, I thought you worked in the left wing.” “*Sir I’m going to have to ask you to leave." "No not anymore" "*other customers are getting worried.”  “I can’t believe your daughters already four that’s amazing.” “*Sir I’m calling security” “Ok have fun with your friends.” "***Come with us." "***Sir You’re going to have to come out here with us.” "No, No I just got to sleep"  “***We set up a meeting with a therapist, it will HELP you.”  DDDDDD  “Ok I will only go if you come with me sweetie.” AAAAA “Have you finished your Work yet?” “****Are you feeling ok with everything in your life?” DDDDD “No you can’t have a cookie it’s too late.”  “****Sir Do you know where you are.”  “No please don’t use the lighter Honey.” WWWWWAAAAA “****Sir I’m going to see what a mental hospital can do for you, OK?”  Be careful getting out of the car it’s slippery.”  “*****Hey dull how is your family.” KKKKEEEEE “How does it feel to be a year older?”  “*****This one’s really gone ehh Nickoli.”  “*****Yeah he has been talking about this random stuff for months.”  “******What’s his name?” UUUUUUU “No the square block goes in the square hole not the circle hole, here watch.” “*****See what I mean he just talks about a kid. He doesn’t have any according to my log.”  "******Well when did he come in?”  PPPPPPPP “*****three years ago I have been taking care of him.” “******He seems pretty messed up, ever thought about just slipping some pills into his food and just, you know.” “*****NO Nickoli I haven’t, our job is to HELP not kill.”  “******Whatever just a thought I guess.”  “Dad please wake up, Wake up Dad please.”  “Julie we have to go, we’ve done this every day for the past three years when is enough, enough.”  “When he wakes up when he talks to me that’s when.”  “What do you plead Mr.Tomlin.”  “INOCENT.”  “The jury has pre-determined you guilty.” “By this court of law Alexander Tomlin you are found Guilty of intoxication behind the wheel and attempted manslaughter, The sentence will be life in jail.”

each extra star* represents a Different person speaking, Each without a star represents main speaker/speakers

Multiple narators. Original    WHAT?

“Huh?” “What’s going on” “where am I, what is this, how, where, what the, how is this, I’m………..I’m……I’m…………..what.”

“What are you doing?”  “I work here?!” “Sir are you OK?” “Wait you work here, I thought you worked in the left wing.” “Sir I’m going to have to ask you to leave other customers are getting worried.”  “I can’t believe your daughters already four that’s amazing.” “Sir I’m calling security” “Ok have fun with your friends.” Come with us. Sir You’re going to have to come out here with us.”  “ We set up a meeting with a therapist, it will HELP you.”  dddddd  “Ok I will only go if you come with me sweetie.” AAAAA “Have you finished your Work yet?” “Are you feeling ok with everything in your life?” DDDDD “No you can’t have a cookie it’s too late.”  “Sir Do you know where you are.”  “No please don’t use the lighter Hunny.” WWWWWAAAAA “Sir I’m going to see what a mental hospital can do for you, OK?”  Be careful getting out of the car it’s slippery.”  “Hey dull how is your family.” KKKKEEEEE “How does it feel to be a year older?”  “This one’s really gone ehh Nickoli.”  “Yeah he has been talking about this random stuff for months.”  “What’s his name?” UUUUUUU “No the square block goes in the square hole not the circle hole, here watch.” “See what I mean he just talks about like a kid he doesn’t have any according to my log.”  Well when did he come in?”  PPPPPPPP “three years ago I have been taking care of him.” “He seems pretty messed up, ever thought about just slipping some pills into his food and just, you know.” “NO Robert I haven’t, our job is to HELP not kill.”  “Whatever just I thought I guess.”  “Dad please wake up, Wake up Dad please.”  “Julie we have to go, we’ve done this every day for the past three years when is enough, enough.”  “When he wakes up when he talks to me that’s when.”  “What do you plead Mr.Tomlin.”  “INOCENT.”  “The jury has pre-determined you guilty.” “By this court of law Mr. Robert Tomlin you are found Guilty, No bail.”

  

Timed prompt,  Realms

 

It was Christmas Eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac at the Lindbergh airfield. A silhouette glides gracefully through the mist with a certain elegance. A quick pace separating the fog with heavy footsteps clambers as if in a hurry.  The silhouette calmly flows as if taken by the frozen breeze in the night air. The pace quickens with louder steps and a hurried breathe follows as if struggling.  The silhouette enters the neighboring forest with finesse and agility, and arrives quietly at a stream. The pace has slowed with heavy breathing, and finds the stream quietly trickling, with ice floating down it almost invisible.  The silhouette is already down the stream walking at its bank looking for what it needs to survive. The pace is down to a walk, gasping for breath white air fills the air from the cold that has flown in.  The silhouette stops, it has found the spot, quickly it lays down. The pace is a limp, not wanting to continue, an inability to run anymore it plops itself down behind a large oak.  The snow white wolf finishes off its kill, slowly rotted and picked clean it leaves.  The young fawn bitten on the leg a month before, is met by the silhouette and bleeds out in the freshly fallen snow.  The wolf silhouettes itself back into the fog in the airfield, the hole in the chain link fences connects the two realms in quiet symmetry.  The hunt continues through the cold Christmas Eve fog.

PS: My story in some ways would be with her opinion, because my does I  end in violence and it doesn't really have  a hero or a resolution. But my stories also has a resolution life goes on, it has a life or death situation which for one side solves a problem and the other doesn't. she in  my opinion would not be able to be against my story

One act play revised and now a MID TERM:                          OREO

Lorenzo: MARK!!!!!

Mark: WHAT!!!!!

Lorenzo: Did you eat the last Oreo from the package.

(Entering the kitchen) Mark: No I didn’t “eat the last OREO from the package.”

Lorenzo: I’m guaranteeing that you ate that frickin Oreo.

Mark: L you gotta calm down, But no I di-

(Interrupting) Lorenzo: You did

Mark: chill out dude, I didn-

Lorenzo: you did

Mark: L you know I didn’t.

Lorenzo: I don’t know you “didn’t” I haven’t seen you in like two days “bro”

Mark: you saw me yesterday, I came in after school I had my red coat on you know the one with the Adidas symbol.

Lorenzo: No that coat was on the floor next to your room when I got home, you never had it on.

Mark: L you saw me yesterday I talked to you we had a conversation about the Oreo's now that I think about it.

Lorenzo: Your delusional, I haven’t talked to anyone except Kevin Petro

Mark: Kevin lives twenty miles away.  You lost your license last week there’s no way you saw Kevin.

Lorenzo: He came here.

Mark: In What?!??!, He does not have a car?

Lorenzo: he came in his moped

Mark: His what?!!?

Lorenzo: a little motorized scooter stupid.

Mark: Well no s*** L, I know what a moped is, but when did he get it?

Lorenzo: I don’t know sometime last week

Mark: From where?

Lorenzo: I don’t know exactly

Mark: did he say how much he spent?

Lorenzo: No.

Mark: Did you ask him?

Lorenzo: Yea, but that’s irrelevant.

Mark: So you’re saying you don’t know where it’s from, when he got it, how much it costs or any of the details.

Lorenzo: yea.

Mark: So basically Kevin stole the moped

Lorenzo: No, No, No? I don’t think so?

Mark: I think Kevin stole the moped

Mark: He is Kind of….. Um…. well not all there

Lorenzo: no he’s just…. he’s just dumb, and he definitely didn’t steal that moped

Mark: How can you argue he didn’t?

 Lorenzo: Cause he is a good kid

Mark: He lives with his brother who has been in and out of jail for the past 10 years he’s probably not a great kid, i mean i don't like to judge a book by its cover, but his is pretty torn up.

Lorenzo: It’s his STEP brother STEEEEPPP brother not a brother, brother, a STEP brother

Mark: His mom left when he was young and his dad is a former ,cough cocaine cough, addict

Lorenzo: Well his dad is OK now

Mark: He relapsed last year remember

Lorenzo: No….

Mark: He did, now you look dumb cuz you don’t know anything about one of YOUR best friends.

Lorenzo: Well, Well, You ate my Oreo.  

Mark: What gave you the right to the Oreo Anyways?

Lorenzo: Kevin brought them when he rode over

Mark: In his stolen moped

Lorenzo: Whatever

Mark: Did he steal the Oreo's to

Lorenzo: No!

Mark: So he did.

Lorenzo: I don’t know

Mark: So whatever store Kevin stole that Oreo box from, is the true owner of the Oreo's right?

Lorenzo: I mean i guess, but what does that have  to do with any of this?

Mark: Well that store was CVS, Which is where I work.

Lorenzo: OK?

Mark: There is a little scooter store dealership next door, So in theory he stole the moped from the scooter store, and the Oreo's from my CVS…

Lorenzo: SO…….

Mark: ( pulling out the Oreo and popping it in his mouth): It's...(crunching)....Mine 

I put in a few modifying statements that make more sense i fixed some punctuation and made some previous statements make more sense 

One act play ORIGINAL                           OREO
 

Lorenzo: MARK!!!!!

Mark: WHAT!!!!!

Lorenzo: Did you eat the last Oreo from the package.

(Entering the kitchen) Mark: No I didn’t “eat the last OREO from the package.”

Lorenzo: I’m guaranteeing that you ate that frickin Oreo.

Mark: But I di-

(Interrupting) Lorenzo: You did

Mark: I didn-

Lorenzo: you did

Mark: L you know I didn’t.

Lorenzo: I don’t know you “didn’t” I haven’t seen you in like two days “bro”

Mark: you saw me yesterday, I came in after school I had my red coat on you know the one with the adidas symbol.

Lorenzo: No that coat was on the floor next to your room when I got home, you never had it on.

Mark: L you saw me yesterday I talked to you we had a conversation about the Oreos now that I think about it.

Lorenzo: Your delusional, I haven’t talked to anyone except Kevin Petro

Mark: Kevin lives twenty miles away.  You lost your license last week there’s no way you saw Kevin.

Lorenzo: He came here.

Mark: In What?!??!

Lorenzo: his moped

Mark: His what

Lorenzo: a little motorized scooter stupid.

Mark: Well not s*** L, I know what a moped is but when did he get that?

Lorenzo: I don’t know sometime last week

Mark: From where.

Lorenzo: I don’t know exactly

Mark: did he say how much he spent?

Lorenzo: No.

Mark: Did you ask him?

Lorenzo: Yea, but that’s irrelevant.

Mark: So you’re saying you don’t know where it’s from, when he got it, how much it costs or any of the details.

Lorenzo: yea.

Mark: So basically Kevin stole the moped

Lorenzo: No, No, No? I don’t think so?

Mark: I think Kevin stole the moped

Mark: He is Kind of….. Um…. well not all there

Lorenzo: no he’s just…. he’s just dumb, and he definitely didn’t steal that moped

Mark: How can you argue he didn’t?

 Lorenzo: Cause he is a good kid

Mark: He lives with his step brother who has been in and out of jail for the past 10 years he’s probably not a great kid

Lorenzo: It’s his STEP brother STEEEEPPP brother not a brother, brother, step brother

Mark: His mom left the house when he was young and his dad is a former addict

Lorenzo: Well his dad is ok now

Mark: He relapsed last year remember

Lorenzo: No….

Mark: He did, now you look dumb cus you don’t know anything about one of YOUR best friends.

Lorenzo: Well, Well, You ate my Oreo.  

Mark: What gave you the right to the Oreo Anyways?

Lorenzo: Kevin brought them when he rode over

Mark: In his stolen moped

Lorenzo: Whatever

Mark: Did he steal the Oreos to

Lorenzo: No?

Mark: So he did.

Lorenzo: I don’t know

Mark: So whatever store Kevin got the Oreos from is where that last Oreo belongs to.

Lorenzo: In theory.

Mark: Ok so that store was CVS, Which is where I work.

Lorenzo: Ok

Mark: There is a little scooter store dealership next door, So in theory he stole the moped from the scooter store, and the Oreos from my CVS…

Lorenzo: SO…….

Mark( pulling out the Oreo and popping it in his mouth): It is mine.

 

One act play DRAFT:                           OREO

Lorenzo: MARK!!!!!

Mark: WHAT!!!!!

Lorenzo: Did you eat the last Oreo from the package.

(Entering the kitchen) Mark: No I didn’t “eat the last OREO from the package.”

Lorenzo: I’m guaranteeing that you ate that frickin Oreo.

Mark: But I di

(Interrupting) Lorenzo: You did

Mark: I didn

Lorenzo: you did

Mark: L you know I didn’t.

Lorenzo: I don’t know you “didn’t” I haven’t seen you in like two days “bro”

Mark: you saw me yesterday, I came in after school I had my red coat on (coughing) the one with the adidas symbol.

Lorenzo: No that coat was on the floor next to your room when I got home, you never had it on.

Mark: L YOU SAW ME I talked to you we had a conversation about the Oreos now that I think about it. (Hacking cough)

Lorenzo: Your delusional, I haven’t talked to anyone except Kevin Petro

Mark: Kevin lives twenty miles away.  You lost your license last week there’s no way you saw Kevin.

Lorenzo: He came here.

Mark: In What?!??!

Lorenzo: his moped

Mark: His what

Lorenzo: a little motorized scooter stupid.

Mark: Well not s*** L, I know what a moped is but when did he get that?

Lorenzo: I don’t know sometime last week

Mark: From where.

Lorenzo: I don’t know exactly why you keep ask me all these stupid questions

Mark: (coughing) I don’t know they become more relevant as we go.

Lorenzo: well I don’t like them at all, stop asking them to me, or from me I don’t even know what it is anymore.

Mark: just say stop asking, “Stupid.”

Lorenzo: HEY don’t call me that.

Mark: Why does it get you angry? “Stupid.”

Lorenzo: you better stop.

Mark: Why “STUPID.”

Lorenzo: I’m going to kill you, you little crap.

Mark: can’t even swear in your own home. “Stupid.”

(Fighting)Mark: I knew you were a weakling.

Lorenzo: F*** you mark.

Mark: OOOO Nice one.

(More fighting) Lorenzo: You punch like gran.

Mark: at least my punches are you can feel

Lorenzo: Can you feel these rib shots

Mark: no all I can feel is my hands on the cold sink

Lorenzo: CAN YOU FEELTHIS. (flips a switch next to the sink)

Mark: AHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY S*** STOP!!!!!

Lorenzo: No

Mark sits down on the floor and holds his hand tightly while quietly sobbing; Lorenzo grabs the box of Oreos and puts them in the trash, and grabs a box of pop tarts.

Mark: (sobbing) ARE YOU INSANE?!!??! CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING.

Lorenzo: no I’m good I have a box of pop tarts and I’m about to get me some milk, you want any.

Mark: NO I DON’T WANT ANY MILK I WANT AN AMBULANCE.

Lorenzo: why what happened?

Mark: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!

Lorenzo: are you hurt?

Mark: YEA I HAVE PASTAMI FOR A HAND, YOU GROUND IT UP,

Lorenzo: Well I don’t remember it but it serves you right for eating my Oreo

 

 

 

 

Those peer reviews tho

Sean.E: On your self deprication.  I feel ya, i liked  the post made me remember how i felt, had its really funny moments along with sad desperate moments, but thats what made it good.

Nick.R: Self deprecation.  I really liked it i laughed at the story, cause it made me remember my own expieriences as a gamer,  there was alot of good things in the story that a thought would make it really worth reading.

Maggie.T: self deprecation(i think/hope):  I thought it was really funny and relatable it made me think in the same way for a while it was presented as if the story was being read by you, which i liked, also its how i think 90 % of the time